if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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