How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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