is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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