I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
