I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Randomize
