what if every blade of grass was a penis?
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
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