I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
he wants to bone in the snuggie
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
