my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
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