the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Terrible idea I love it
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
