Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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