oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Randomize