I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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