Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
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