he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
