The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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