My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize