Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
