if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Randomize
