I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
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