we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize
