Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
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