There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
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