Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I lost the right to judge tonight
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Randomize
