i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
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