I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Randomize
