it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
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