dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize
