I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
