I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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