Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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