So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Randomize
