Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Randomize
