What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Randomize
