Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
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