I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
My pussy is not your playground.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
So squirting runs in the family.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Randomize
