about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
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