for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
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