I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
