it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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