dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
