Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize