I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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