please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize