i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
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