Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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