i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Randomize