am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
COCAINE IS GR8
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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