How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
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