Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
Randomize
