You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Randomize