how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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