I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
