JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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