I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Randomize
