Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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