while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Everyone says I win the strip club
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Randomize
