wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
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