How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
Randomize
