Is it because I queefed?
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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