Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Randomize
