the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
I enjoy the company of your penis
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