i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
