Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
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