Got a toothbrush?
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
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