I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize
