If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Randomize
