i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
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