I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize
