Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
