dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
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