so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
