none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Randomize
