If i come over, it means nothing
and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
My boob is missing a layer of skin
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
