You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
it's like heaven, but drunker
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
