batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
