I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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