You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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