Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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