Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
our cab driver is having phone sex.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Randomize
