Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
