so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Randomize
