let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
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