How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize